Nothing Says Swag like a Lavender Sweater

So I told myself I'd be better about updating this blog but it seems like that hasn't actually been the case. Between my laptop charger nearly catching on fire, Aunt Flo coming to visit, and a mess of back-to-school viruses attacking my body I haven't been so inclined to 'dressing up,' so I've taken to wearing my jeans and big, baggy 80s sweaters, and after spending much of the week lying on my bed with a heating pad and a bag of chips, I think I can now consider those fashion accessories as well. I am the epitome of style.

Pikachu says hi.

 There will be more posts once I fully recover. Probably. Hopefully.

You're sure to do impossible things, if you follow your heart!

Today was the second day of new semester classes, and since yesterday didn't go exactly as planned (long story short: I can't get into the class I wanted to get into) I decided to start today off fresh with a nice outfit. It must have helped my spirits, because today's classes were much better. I'm really excited for my classes: one is a Japanese linguistics class and the other is a leadership course. Fun stuff.

I've really taken to wearing a lot of black and white lately, especially now that it's winter. It's become something of my signature style, I guess? But it's such a nice combination! I suppose it could get boring, but I love mixing prints and patterns like I've done here with hearts and bows, so I don't see it getting dull for me any time soon.

I recently rewatched a childhood classic: Thumbelina. It was seriously my favorite movie growing up. One of my favorite songs in the film is the swallow Jacquimo's song, "Follow Your Heart." So when I remembered I had this shirt in my closet I had to pull it out. Of course, the best song in the film is "Let Me Be Your Wings," but I don't have a shirt that says that haha. Don Bluth's movies were all so amazing. I hope the rumors that he's going to make a new film in the near future are true.

I'm experimenting a little tonight with how I take photos. I think my previous pictures suffered a little for too much flash... I know I know, flash bad, but it's a bit hard to get proper lighting in my dorm room. This picture still ended up having more shadows than I wanted, but I think it's an improvement on my past photos! I'm gonna tweak some things and try to get even better in my next set of pictures. I didn't want to worry this one too much, though, or else I'd be taking and editing photos all night. Also how do you like my make-shift coat rack in the back there? That window ledge is seriously the best thing.

I did my make up a little today, so here's a picture of it, including parts of my messy room and my hello kitty covered fridge. She's currently wearing a winter coat since, well, it's winter.

I'm still here... I think.

So here I am at almost 3 am, thinking about my blog. This blog. I'm thinking about why my last post is from November 8th, when here it is almost at the end of January.

When I started this blog, what I wanted wasn't just a place I could call my own. I wanted a place where I could connect with people, other bloggers and commenters alike. I wanted a place where I could share my style with other like-minded individuals. I wasn't really interested in being a part of the whole rat-race mentality that plagues a lot of fashion blogs. I mostly just wanted to reach out to people and feel like I was a part of something. That was the whole reasoning behind the title of my blog, because I'm not the only one who dresses the way I do. I wanted to find those people using my blog.

But somewhere along the line I think I lost sight of that. I wracked my brain for things to wear instead of letting it come naturally. I hated how strained and forced my face looked in photos, even after I took multiples--sometimes I even got up to 20 or even 30 before I finally gave up. I didn't like that I couldn't get proper lighting, lighting that wouldn't cast harsh shadows on my face and my knees. I've always had a complex about how my face looks, how my knees look. It's an irrational thought. And even now, when I'm starting to accept myself a little bit more, looking back at these pictures makes me cringe a little even though it's probably more noticeable to me than to anyone else. I also have to say that the abandoning of my blog also occurred at an emotionally difficult time, which didn't make me feel inclined to push through my issues and continue posting. All these things combined led to a week without posting, then a month, then 2 months, and now...

BUT--and here's the but--I don't want to abandon this blog. It brought so many positives for me. It helped me to meet so many people that I loved chatting with, who I want to continue to talk to and get to know more deeply. It helped me develop my style, and I know I've grown even more since then and I'm anxious to show it off here. So, I'm going to give this another try. I'm heading back to school for my next semester tomorrow, and I am really going to try and get this blog rolling again. I'm not sure if anyone is reading this anymore but if you are, I hope you'll stick with me while I give it another go. In closing, here's a recent photo of me (if December can be considered recent):


And here's an even older photo of me. I'm including it because, even though it's a little wannabe model-esque, I feel that I look pretty in it. And that's something I'm striving to do every day.

Ponies and Ponies and Ponies and Ponies...

Sweater: Vintage
Skirt: Charlotte Russe

Is it really fall? Really? Did we have a snowstorm last week or did I somehow imagine it? I don't even know anymore. I left my room this morning in a winter coat and thigh highs and had to strip them off the second I got to class. It is literally shorts and tshirt weather right now. My top half still gets cold, though, so I opted to wear one of my vintage sweaters. I didn't use to like sweaters but I'm really falling in love with them. I love the pixel-y look of the designs like this one. This sweater also really reminds me of My Little Pony, although I'm pretty sure it's not meant to be, but the little speckles look like a cutie mark.

I also had a big test today in my stats class and hoped that I would get a little unicorn magic from my sweater. I'm not really sure if it worked though... but hey, it was worth a shot!

I also didn't notice before taking this picture that I still have a band-aid on. I'm always bumping into things so this isn't really a new thing for me, hah. It's not so much that I'm clumsy so much as I'm not very observant. I swear though, tables and chairs just appear out of nowhere!

Bunny ring: Sweet Surprises

Here's a close up of the unicorn and some of my rings. They're a little hard to see, but one is a bunny and the other is a strawberry tart. I barely ever wear any jewelry or accessories. Hopefully that will change soon though! I'm trying to build up my accessories collection (although then I go and spend my money on sweaters...) so I can make my outfits more interesting.

Edit: The sweater is indeed a My Little Pony sweater! It comes from an old vintage My Little Pony pattern. I would love to be able to get my hands on it someday, whenever I learn how to knit anyway. So many things I need to learn how to do...

Source

Monochrome Days

Wow, it has been a while since I actually blogged. I can't even blame it on the crazy snowstorm we had last weekend, since I wasn't posting before then and I haven't posted since. I've even had photos to post, but I just haven't felt much like blogging.

Last weekend we had a freak snowstorm that knocked out our power for a few nights. There were still leaves on the trees, so all the snow weighed them down and branches started to fall from the weight. I was out in the middle of the storm and almost got hit way too many times. In the aftermath there were trees and branches down all over campus. They still haven't been able to clean up all the debris.

Shirt, Jacket, Skirt: Forever21
Headband: Icing

Lately I've been forgoing my skirts for jeans, again. I'm trying to get out of this habit but I keep on falling into it, ahh. I think that a lot of it has to do with the weather changes. First it's cold, then it's warm, then it's cold again! New England weather is too bipolar. It really discourages me from dressing nice. I just want to curl up in my bed and sleep, not get dressed to go out. Alsas, class awaits.

In an attempt to shed my jeans-wearing self, I've turned to my other form of comfort dressing: black and white clothing. I absolutely love this color combination, since it's so easy to put together. I have a lot of black and white clothing in my wardrobe, and it all pretty much goes together so coordinating is easy. It's a bit of a cop out for me, but the end result is nice and polished, in my mind anyway.

This is also one of my few outfits that doesn't have anything thrifted. I'm not really a huge fan of fast fashion retailers, since so much of the clothing just falls apart. I had a shirt rip right up the armpit the other day! I had barely even worn it. There's also the ethical issues involved. But sometimes I cave and take a look through the sales racks. I do like a lot of the things I find. My favorite part about searching sales racks is finding all the little gems people have overlooked. It's very similar to the feeling I get while looking through all the racks of a thrift store to get that one amazing find. Of course nothing will ever beat that great thrifting find, especially if it's some nice vintage clothing. It's sad that that quality of clothing doesn't always happen nowadays. I wonder if clothing from now will someday become vintage or if it will all have disintegrated by then? I'm sure some will still be around, but I don't know if the current thrifting and vintage trend will continue, especially if the economy ever recovers and people get enough disposable income to be able to buy everything new.

I'll hopefully be posting a few more posts over the next week, since I have other outfit photos queued up. I've just been extremely lazy in actually posting.

Minty Bears

I can't sleep so instead I'm going to post outfits at 4 in the morning! Went to hang out with my friends tonight for what I thought was going to be a couple of hours which instead turned into around five. I'm happy though, since I'm usually a total recluse. I'm definitely using this year to get out of my shell a bit!

T-shirt: Delia's
Cardigan: Gap (Thrifted)
Skirt: Delia's
Shoes: N/A

Went for some mint touches today. There really is not enough mint in my wardrobe. Or lavender. I need to change both of these things and add more pastels! I forgot to take a close up today, but this shirt is one of my favorites now. You can't read it since the shirt is creased, but it says "Bear Thug" across the front, a play on 'bear hug.' I guess that's what it means when you cover a teddy bear in tattoos.

Also yes, it is a little past the time for completely bare legs, but my friends live just downstairs so I didn't have far to go. Is it cheating if I technically don't wear the outfit "out?" Hahah.

Creepers (not the shoes, sadly) and Costumes

It's been a little while since I've posted, hasn't it? My blog isn't even yet a month old and I'm off to a roaring start, aren't I? I could come up with a number of excuses but none of them really feel genuine, so I think I'll just skip them.

I have been feeling sick lately, though, so I don't have much to offer in the way of outfit snaps. Hopefully I'll be able to get back on that next week instead of regressing to my jeans-tshirt-sweatshirt ultimate frump combo. But it's so comfortable, I just couldn't help myself.

However, I did go out to some parties this past weekend! That's a bit of a change for me, since I'm really not the college partier type. The first party was definitely in my element though, since it was a geeky costume party thing. I was kind of dragged along by friends so I didn't have time to come up with a costume, so I wore something "geeky" instead, as much as I can do anyway since I don't own much geeky attire.

T-shirt: Threadless
Skirt: Target

I tried to add cute little buns on the top of my head (which was an extremely difficult task since this was my first time ever attempting it) and by the time this picture was taken halfway through the evening one of them had deflated.... ah well, it was alright for a first try.

It was geeky and kind of awkward but I had a fun time. My friend ended up winning the costume contest so that was exciting! The only damper on the evening was the girl taking pictures in the background as my friends and I came out of the party. I'm not sure what came over me, but I suddenly became very angry at her. I'll admit, I gave her the finger a few times! But that didn't deter her, and before I knew it I was marching over to confront her. I asked her why she felt the need to take pictures, and the only response she could come up with was that she was taking pictures of the building. After that I just walked off.

I really would have preferred that she had told the truth. That kind of answer is so ridiculous that I had no response. I usually try not to let this sort of thing bother me but sometimes I can't help it. It just feels creepy to have people sneakily take your picture so they can laugh at it later. It's creepy as hell, but we've become so used to having our pictures taken at any given moment and taking pictures of others that we've ceased to see anything wrong with it. I feel that it's different from the pictures I take of myself and put up here on the web of my own accord. One is a choice I make, and the other is something done without my consent or sometimes even knowledge. There's nothing wrong with it in the eyes of the law so I'm not going to make a huge fuss over it, but I can still find it creepy. My only comfort is that after my confrontation she put her phone camera away. I think I hit a note there and made her feel some embarrassment, which is a step. Simply ignoring things and going on your merry way can be a good policy, but I don't think there's anything wrong with confronting something you find wrong as long as it doesn't escalate the situation. In this case it ended the behavior, probably because she didn't expect to be confronted about it and it caught her off guard.

I also went to another party the day after. This one is the biggest party on campus and since I'm a senior and have never been, I decided to give it a shot. I am so very, very glad I only went once. It was a huge mass of people, full of more shoving and pushing than dancing, and I almost lost my friends a number of times. Plus there were the creepy guys who come out of nowhere... Needless to say, we did not stay very long. But I now have another stamp on my college experience card.

We were a bit too preoccupied with running around and being late for things to take pictures (case in point: We arrived at the party 5 minutes before they stopped handing out the wristbands for admittance) so I don't have any pictures for this party. Even if I did I'm not sure if I would want to post them. I just felt so out of my element the entire time. The dress I had chosen to wear was not something I normally wear. It had cut outs that exposed my back, the bodice dipped to show off my boobs, and the skirt was tight and rode up the entire night. I felt downright uncomfortable by the end of the night. I even kept a small cardigan on the entire time and I still felt strange. This dress felt like more of a costume to me than what I wore to the costume party.

Product image of the dress. (Source)

I think the dress is cute and I still really like it, but it doesn't feel like me, not yet. I'm not sure if it ever will. But I'm at the point in my life where I'm 'supposed' to be moving toward styles like this, 'supposed' being a big, open-ended term dripping in expectations of womanhood. But instead I just feel like a child trying to dress up and failing miserably. I don't feel like an adult in clothes like this and I certainly don't feel entirely comfortable. It's difficult. It's difficult to reconcile all these feelings, the feelings of needing to grow up and feeling unable, the feelings of not fitting into the narrow categories of acceptable presentation and being judged for it... It's all something that I'm going to have to come to terms with for myself because the outside world isn't going to change for just me. But that doesn't mean it isn't a difficult process.

Wow, this post turned out much longer than I intended! Well, it has been a while, so maybe this will make up a little bit for the time I've missed.